The Destiny Train
by Lottie the Typewriter
Summary: The wave of emotions Castiel is forced to deal with after the truth about Debrah is exposed.
1. The Destiny Train

Castiel slammed the door to his apartment behind him as he made his way to the stereo system.

"Something to drown out today..." An album was playing, Castiel wasn't sure what, it was loud that's all he cared about. What he was sure of the album, 'Stars from Nightmare', was slammed into the garbage without a second thought. His body went through the motions of his nightly routine; feed Demon, throw microwave dinner in, take said dinner out, eat. His mind was anywhere but the present.

"How the fuck did all of this happen without me noticing? The first time I... god damn it she betrayed everything!" Even through the most venomous thoughts came the little bits of happiness that only served to deepen Castiel's anger and misery.

Her in front of him singing a soft melody. He couldn't pull his eyes away, he was completely captivated by her. Her closed eyes, gentle hands, and slender shoulders that would gracefully move as she changed between the octaves. All Castiel could do was sit there and imagine the concert that was playing in Debrah's beautiful mind.

The heart that could have pounded out of his chest. The passionate deep kiss. His arms holding her closer; he be damned if anyone tried to take her away from him.

A little frame that couldn't control Demon.

The lust in her eyes as she toyed with his belt. Her hand messaging, over his pants, his hardened length, the deep primal growl that escaped from his throat.

The note that wasn't forced on him. The understanding smile.

The escaped moans that drove him wild; the neck bitting, the groping hands, and the grinding that became all the more intense and frantic.

The silent walk home in the dark, only time she was ever quiet for more than 10 minutes. The warmth of her hands serving nothing but to deepen his blush.

The night of love...

The day of moving, the teasing that just came so damn naturally, her flustered face that he couldn't help but lov-

...

"A highschool girl's jealousy and stupidity.

"Castiel I love you...I don't want to see her hurt you again ... Please believe me"

"Forget I exists ... don't come around me or anyone I care about anymore."

"MORON!" Her tears.

"Candy." In that instant Castiel grabbed his jacket as he ran out the door. Scenarios racing through his mind on how to take back all he said to the one girl that he never realized loved him, the second one that he cared for but was too chicken shit to let in.

Castiel rushed out too fast, his cell was left on the couch where he threw it earlier. Three new voicemails were flashing on the screen. Two from Candy, choking on her tears and sobs. Pleading for Castiel to forgive her, explanations that she didn't want him to find out this harshly, and endless apologies. The third was from Lysander;

"Castiel I need you to come to the hospital. I–Its Candy she was–. Her parents are here. Castiel she was hit by the train behind the school, I left her alone for a few minutes to talk to Leigh before walking her home. … I–I cannot get the image of what the train did to her delegate body, out of my mind. The screech of the train wheels, Rosalya's sobs, her mother's piercing scream filled with denial, I can't get any of it out of my head … Oh god … Castiel I don't — END OF MESSAGES. If you would like to hear the message again —

_Not sure what to think of this. My first fan fiction in about 5 years also my first one shot and its…well this. I might expand on it with my OC Lottie, but I might just let it stand alone. __Let me know what you guys think. I'm not scared of honesty, ok maybe a little._


	2. Destiny Train Part 2

"Castiel It wasn't your fault—don't think—" Castiel watched on as Lysander was fighting to keep his composure. _He loved her too…_

They were all sitting around the Ainsworth brother's kitchen table. Rosalya was sitting across from Castiel, mascara trailing down her cheeks, only slightly smudged from when she tried to wipe it up. Now she was quiet and just staring into space Leigh's arm around her shoulder rubbing absentmindedly he too spaced out.

_I would be too if I saw Candy…like…._ Lysander was sitting beside Castiel, his chin resting on his chest, no energy, not even looking like the the same guy he was just a few hours ago at school. Castiel couldn't even begin to think of anything to say to make any of them feel better, he was dealing with his own heavy and miserable heart. The pain becoming gradually unbearable with every second as he couldn't keep his eyes off of Lysander's jacket sleeves, they were completely soaked with blood. _Candy's blood._

Castiel face scrunched up as he made it to the bathroom just in time. More dry heaving, He had already emptied his stomach not too long ago. Flopping down onto the cold floor Castiel reached with his foot to close the bathroom door as he crawled over and rested his head on the bath tub ledge. "How could all of this go so damn wrong?" Castiel mumbled to himself as he stared up to the ceiling, "I didn't even get a chance to tell her how sorry I was or that I lo-." Castiel tried to choke back his tears as images of their fight and what they had screamed at one another flashed through his mind but it was no use. "Can't you cut me some slack, yeah?" Castiel whimpered as he squeezed his eyes shut and bit down on his bottom lip doing his best to hold everything in, his anger and misery but it was too much this time. Castiel's head flopped down, void of any energy as he let the tears fall in silence for what seemed like hours until he simply passed out into a restless sleep where in his dreams he could finally tell Candy how much he honestly loved her and how stupid he was to have never told her.


End file.
